The One Thing That Stays Mine
by Silver Miko
Summary: AxM ONESHOT- She would be alone forever, if she waited for the right time to act, but he there and now he was ready, to hold on tight and not give her up.


Author's Note: Been meaning to write this, dedicated to Western Ink to hopes of a better day. :D

While I do have Jimmy Eat World song lyrics here at the end, THIS IS NOT A SONGFIC! And even so if need be I have ways to get permission from the band. BUT IT IS NOT A SONG FIC.

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The One Thing That Stays Mine

By Silver Miko

The sky was burning orange as dusk fell, the streets becoming less crowded as the lone figure in a simple beige yukata made his way back towards the blue tiled roofed building known as the Aoiya. Back to place he was slowly being able to call home once more.

He hadn't expected to be welcomed back with open arms and tearful smiles of relief.

He hadn't expected forgiveness.

He hadn't even expected to live...so lost in the darkness that had ravaged his heart and soul.

But he had, and from the day he returned to the Aoiya and forward...he spent towards redeeming for his sins and trying to live his life in an era where samurai were no longer needed, where the way of the sword was fading, where a new nation was growing...

Days became weeks, weeks became months, months became years, and soon three summers had come and gone, his thirtieth birthday had come and passed, and the Aoiya was prospering better than ever.

His visits to the temple were less frequent, and were more out of routine than a need to cleanse his soul. It was now simply an hour of his morning to calm his mind, and a time that also served as tea time ritual between him and Misao.

The time had come and gone when he could finally acknowledge the child of the Oniwabanshuu had shed her last traces of girlhood-the kimono she wore more frequently, the subtle lowering of the pitch in her voice, the undeniable slight curves that filled her clothing, and one long braided hair that now fell to just below her shoulder...all tell tale signs she had begun to embrace womanhood.

She was going to be twenty in November.

His steps moved a bit quicker, as he recalled the events of the night before. It had been warm and Misao had asked him to have some Western desserts on the back porch. A mission had come up, a rareness these days, and instead of protesting and being against it, Misao had asked Aoshi to take the mission. It was a mission to spy on a group suspected of conspiring against the Meiji Government located in the forest outside of Kyoto.

She had of course displayed the usual worry that an Okashira would of any of their spies, but to the others it seemed Misao was starting fine with the idea of Aoshi leaving the Aoiya for three weeks.

Only he saw the wavering in her ocean blue eyes.

He could tell it was an action to demonstrate maturity, to show she had the spirit to be Okashira...by assigning him, by her own hand parting him from her company for weeks...

It was a display, and he was torn between admiration and lamentation. She should not feel she had to make gestures, but he knew in the back of Misao's mind she still felt she needed to prove herself. Understandable, when the other Oniwabanshuu still treated her as a child at times.

He wondered if they had noticed the changes he had, the perception she had gained. He used to think no one would understand him at times, the parts of him that lay in shadow...but she did. She saw it, processed it, came to understand it.

It was only natural, they had been together for years, apart but in thought for more years, together again now. It was a strange, scary, beautiful thing when Aoshi had realized that Misao knew the sides of him no one else new.

He would still leave, take the mission. He would think of the selfish ways he'd hurt her in the past. He would think of his return. He would think of when he could finally stop.

He knew she was incapable of asking, of demanding his time. Demanding he feel something for him that he possibly did not. It would be ultimately left to him, him to decide, him to act...and he knew. Surely, honestly, finally.

No one else, no one else had grabbed his heart, occupied his thoughts, impacted his life as she had. No one would have him like she did, no one else but her.

Misao would remain alone, if she waited and waited for the right time to say something. He wondered what she hoped for of him? But then he knew the answer. But he was there, and finally he was ready to hold her tight and not let go. He would not give up, it was the one thing that stayed his.

It was amazing to think of, that it had taken so long, that Misao had reached her twenties and was still by his side. He would no longer love the memories of the girl she once was, he would love the woman she had become.

And he would stop living in his regrets. Stop letting himself be haunted by the past. He would let himself breathe again, let himself live again, know the true joy of sunshine, the sweetness of rain, the softness of laughter, the warmth of Misao.

He would surrender to her, never want to escape.

He knew he always had her, but it wasn't until now that he truly understood...she had him. Forever.

He opened the door, removed his shoes, made his way silently to the kitchen, saw her standing over a pot.

He moved behind her, embraced her. She dropped the ladle she held in her hands and turned her face up a bit.

"Aoshi-sama?"

His face shifted into the crook of her neck, pressed lips against her skin.

"Misao...when I get back..."

He turned her around, trapping her in his embrace.

"Everything changes, Misao, never staying the same. Please, be the one thing that stays mine."

He could hear her sobs of joy as she clutched to his beige yukata, and he could feel clouds in his heart dispersing.

A ray of light named Misao was shining through.

She was his, he was ready, and he would give his future to her.

The one thing that stayed his.

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Here's the lyrics to '23', the song that inspired this.

_I had felt for sure last night_

_that once we said goodbye_

_no one else will know these lonely dreams_

_no one else will know that part of me_

_and I'm still driving away_

_and I'm sorry every day_

_I won't always love these selfish things_

_I won't always live...never stopping_

_It was my turn to decide_

_and I knew it was our time_

_no one else will have me like you do_

_no one else will have me..only you_

_You'll sit alone forever _

_if you wait for the right time_

_what are you hoping for?_

_I'm here and now I'm ready_

_holding on tight_

_don't give away the end_

_the one thing that stays mine_

_And amazing still it seems_

_I'll be 23_

_I won't always love what I'll never have_

_I won't always live in my regrets_

_You'll sit alone forever _

_if you wait for the right time_

_what are you hoping for?_

_I'm here and now I'm ready_

_holding on tight_

_don't give away the end_

_the one thing that stays mine_

_You'll sit alone forever _

_if you wait for the right time_

_what are you hoping for?_

_I'm here and now I'm ready_

_holding on tight_

_don't give away the end_

_the one thing that stays mine_

_(You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time)_

_(What are you hoping for)_

_(I'm here and now I'm ready)_

_(Holding on tight)_

_(Don't give away the end the one thing that stays mine)_


End file.
